With NHL coaches, not everyone’s a winner (that’s no lie)

Yesterday, James Mirtle posted an excellent, detailed breakdown of the ages of the 29 NHL coaches. (It excluded Don Waddell, who only plans to remain behind Atlanta’s bench until he’s identified the right man or woman to replace Bob Hartley.)

When checking out Mirtle’s list, what caught my eye was how surprisingly few championships the current group has accumulated.

As of this moment, only seven active NHL coaches have won a Stanley Cup as a head coach, and none of them has won more than one:

Mike Keenan (1994)
Jacques Lemaire (1995)
Marc Crawford (1996)
Ken Hitchcock (1999)
John Tortorella (2004)
Peter Laviolette (2006)
Randy Carlyle (2007)

Only seven have made losing appearances in the finals, two of whom (Keenan and Hitchcock) are also on the winners list, and only one of whom (Keenan) has been a runner-up more than once:

Mike Keenan (1985, 1987, 1992)
Ron Wilson (1998)
Lindy Ruff (1999)
Ken Hitchcock (2000)
Paul Maurice (2002)
Mike Babcock (2003)
Craig MacTavish (2006)

If the venerable Pat Quinn returns to his old Atlanta stomping grounds, that’ll add another two losing appearances (1980, 1994) to the latter list.

At this point, age doesn’t loom that large in terms of the likelihood of being a Cup-winning coach. You’d assume the older guys would generally have better odds, but out of the elite seven, one is in his 60’s (Lemaire), three are in their 50’s (Keenan, Hitchcock, and Carlyle), and three are in their 40’s (Crawford, Laviolette, and Tortorella). Apparently, it’s anyone’s Cup.

You can partially blame the strange-seeming numbers on how certain coaches enjoyed monopolizing Lord Stanley’s time over the last quarter-century or so: Al Arbour (1980-83), Glen Sather (1984, 1985, 1987, 1988), and Scotty Bowman (1992, 1997, 1998, 2002). Not to mention Bowman ruining it for everyone else in the late 1970’s.

Of course, only one team wins the Cup each year, and it’s a tough journey through the Land of Parity nowadays.

But we’re constantly reminded that the NHL is all about winning, and so many organizations prefer “proven winners.” (Cue Keenan again.) It feels surprising that more of the one-hit Cup wonders aren’t still NHL head coaches. Names like Jean Perron (1986, now coaching the Israeli national team), Terry Crisp (1989, now a color commentator for the Nashville Predators), Jacques Demers (1993, now on the lecture circuit discussing the challenges of illiteracy), and Pat Burns (2003, continuing to deal with health issues).

So just when do you pass your best-before date as an NHL coach? That question has preoccupied Pat Quinn in recent months. He may get a definitive answer soon.

And on that note, we conclude a trifle more optimistically with the Hot Chocolate song that inspired today’s story title. I’d be shocked if this one didn’t bring a little boogie fever to Montreal’s dressing room circa 1978.